Tuesday, July 16, 2013

My Crazy Goes up with the Pollen

I felt compelled today, while trolling Amazon.com to see when my books will get here, to share something with my facebook friends called L-Methylfolate.   What?  Its trade name is Deplin.  Again, what?   I should probably start at the beginning.  I struggle with depression.  I don't so much suffer from it as we wrestle from time to time and it occasionally makes me do something that wrecks my life a little bit.  It makes me do really dumbass things like cry when Morgan Freeman reads the preamble to the Declaration of Independence and take offense at stuff I logically know I should not take offense at.  It makes me unfriend people I've known since high school on Facebook over things they do that I think are silly.    I go through cycles with this thing and I call it my crazy and I think of it like an allergy.  I really am a happy person most of the time.  Stupid happy.  Happier than I have any right to be.  So around January or so I had a meltdown at work.  Something legit probably precipitated it but nothing warrants bawling like a three year old at the office.  My brain knows this but it can't seem to get the message over to the body with any kind of effectiveness.  I had an appointment with my doctor anyway so I decided to confess before I lost any more friends or drove someone to killing me.

I don't like telling Dr. Mac (This is his name in my blog, lol, he doesn't need unwarranted publicity) that my crazy is up.  The more reptilian part of my brain sees it as a personal failure, even though the surface personality knows it's a result of brain chemistry and genetics.   He suggested a little orange pill called Deplin.   He tells me it's a medical food with no side effects that helps the sentraline (Zoloft) do its job and help the brain make serotonin.  I figured with no side effects, WHY NOT?   He sent me home with a bag full of samples and I split the pills like he told me to. 

My crazy went down.  I attributed it to Zeal because I started it around the same time.  I could think clearer, my moods were better, and I didn't have meltdowns at the office or anywhere else for months.   Woo hoo!  I ran out of it and I ended up having a crying fit at work.  Not an epic crying fit.  Just a crying fit.  I go back to the doctor, and Dr. Mac tells me of course I had a meltdown! I was out of the stuff!  He had no samples, alas, so he wrote me a prescription for it and I found out what that stuff actually costs.  $153.00 a MONTH.  Now, I'm a CSR at an insurance office and my health insurance won't cover things that aren't drugs so until I hit the lotto that isn't going to happen.  I googled Deplin like a crazy person and came across this .  It was a supplement version of L Methylfolate.   So far, so good.  I feel better.  I only had one meltdown and it was totally warranted, and it's only $50 for 90 days. Much. better.   Judging from the reviews on the amazon product description I am not the only one using it for this. 

Stuff works.  It's a lifesaver.   I still say talk to your doctor to see if it's right for your particular brand of crazy.  Not all crazy is the same so do yourself a favor and take what I'm saying seriously. :)

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