I need to give a shout out to all the crazy white ladies of the internet. You're really freaking people out. A girl can't even chase down a stranger in her car without terrifying people anymore.
I was driving down East Main, minding my own business, when I saw my worst car related nightmare rolling by me. I'm no car guru, so I'm not sure, but I think it was a geo metro. I know for sure it had a front fender panel that was a different color than all the other fender panels and the rear passenger side tire was literally shaking.
Think about like this only more white and less shiny paint:
I'm following this car and I see the back tire shaking like a chihuahua. I pull up next to them and roll my windows down. They speed up. They take the next left hand turn. Their tire is still shaking. Not to be deterred, I take the same turn. I'm still trying to get their attention.
They take a right hand turn. Not today, Satan! I'm going to tell these people their tire is vibrating like some weak armed girl (me) changed it and didn't get the lug nuts tight enough before it drops them going the top speed of 45 mph this beautiful legacy of the 90's tops out at. They could get hurt! Another turn! I follow, not to be deterred by mere evasive maneuvering.
Finally, the little car that's going to drop someone pulls into a gas station. Nice and public, security cameras, in case I get my crazy white woman thing on and someone has to call me Linda. A man pops out of the back seat to handle me.
He doesn't speak English and my car related Spanish is all insurance words that don't include vibrating tire. I'm trying to tell him what's going on, pointing to the tire and making weird gestures to indicate it's about to fall off when his son, the driver, gets out of the car and I explain to him (in English of course) what is going on.
Teenager breathes a sigh of relief, realizing he isn't going to have to defend his mother in a street brawl with someone screaming for a cop. I tell him about the tire and he promises to fix it. I get in my car and drive away.
I'm even more sure now that me changing a tire myself is a terrible idea.
Oh and girls, calm down, everyone has cameras now. You can't have an epic meltdown in public over cheese or returns at Sears without someone filming it. Basically, our reign of terror is over.
I was driving down East Main, minding my own business, when I saw my worst car related nightmare rolling by me. I'm no car guru, so I'm not sure, but I think it was a geo metro. I know for sure it had a front fender panel that was a different color than all the other fender panels and the rear passenger side tire was literally shaking.
Think about like this only more white and less shiny paint:
I'm following this car and I see the back tire shaking like a chihuahua. I pull up next to them and roll my windows down. They speed up. They take the next left hand turn. Their tire is still shaking. Not to be deterred, I take the same turn. I'm still trying to get their attention.
They take a right hand turn. Not today, Satan! I'm going to tell these people their tire is vibrating like some weak armed girl (me) changed it and didn't get the lug nuts tight enough before it drops them going the top speed of 45 mph this beautiful legacy of the 90's tops out at. They could get hurt! Another turn! I follow, not to be deterred by mere evasive maneuvering.
Finally, the little car that's going to drop someone pulls into a gas station. Nice and public, security cameras, in case I get my crazy white woman thing on and someone has to call me Linda. A man pops out of the back seat to handle me.
He doesn't speak English and my car related Spanish is all insurance words that don't include vibrating tire. I'm trying to tell him what's going on, pointing to the tire and making weird gestures to indicate it's about to fall off when his son, the driver, gets out of the car and I explain to him (in English of course) what is going on.
Teenager breathes a sigh of relief, realizing he isn't going to have to defend his mother in a street brawl with someone screaming for a cop. I tell him about the tire and he promises to fix it. I get in my car and drive away.
I'm even more sure now that me changing a tire myself is a terrible idea.
Oh and girls, calm down, everyone has cameras now. You can't have an epic meltdown in public over cheese or returns at Sears without someone filming it. Basically, our reign of terror is over.
No comments:
Post a Comment