Tuesday, March 26, 2013

"Do you want to watch it pop out like a zit?"

What a loaded question coming from a surgeon.   Especially coming at me.   I'm always caught between my curiosity and my horror at seeing my own body flayed open or cut on.   Part of me wants to see what that thing making a hard knot beneath my skin and driving me crazy all these months looks like and the other part is totally freaked out that a guy just made an inch long incision on my arm.  I should probably warn you guys this is going to be a gross post.

A really gross post.  So what happens when someone gets a lipoma cut out of their arm?   Not a whole lot, really, but I'll tell you anyway.   You know the exam rooms in the ER?   That's where he did the surgery.  I should preface this by saying he looked it up and down and played with it a little bit in the office to make sure it was what Dr. McIntyre thought it was and asked me if I was pretty tough.    I think I'm pretty tough, so in the interest of getting this over and done with at minimum medical drama levels I told him I was.  Pretty tough that is.   Pretty and tough if I do say so myself. 

First he covered up the area with a blue dye laced disinfectant and surrounded my arm with blue cotton.  All very expensive hospital grade tea towels, I'm sure.   Then he takes a needle the size of a #2 pencil and stabs me with it.   Pain wise, this is the worst part.    Then the man cuts open my arm about an inch, maybe two and I see fat until the outer layer and almost pass out.   Then comes the question:  Do you want to watch it pop out like a zit?

I honestly can't say I could have said no to that question under the best of circumstances.   Considering I'd been feeling this thing under my skin and considering kitchen surgery, stopped only by it being on my dominant arm, I had to turn and look.    It did NOT put out like a zit.  It came out like a marble being pushed from under my skin.  A brain shaped bloody marble.  Oh Lord, it was gross.  Naturally, I'm going to show you.

I'm a little disappointed it didn't look more like Adipose tissue monster in Doctor Who

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